Apr. 13: Doubt.

MUSIC: /

MOOD: BLEH

This always happens during breaks from school. I get bored, I have too much time to think about things and once I get around the whole school subject, I fear, once again, that I'm just not good enough to cut it. I know a lot of people think what I make is pretty, but my teachers just don't think it's sufficient. I agree with them.
I don't think I'll ever get past making things that are "nice" or "pretty". I don't think I'll ever be motivated enough to even try and take things to a whole other level.

I've been doing a few career tests and unfortunately, they all say the same thing.

"You are an Architect, possible professions include - strategic planning, writer, staff development, lawyer, architect, software designer, financial analyst, college professor, photographer, logician, artist, systems analyst, neurologist, physicist, psychologist, research/development specialist, computer programmer, data base manager, chemist, biologist, investigator."

It's quite accurate really, I've always loved writing (a lot of grade school teachers have told me that if I'd ever write a book they'd be the first to read it haha), my mother always says I should go into law, I've thought about teaching (I'm too impatient with kids though), as well as photography and psychology.
Actually, I'd study psychology if I wasn't so messed up myself (that, and statistics and research and shit's just not for me haha.)

Frankly, I just want to do whatever the hell I want. Besides law, my mom says I should work for a traveling agency because I'm good with languages and love to travel altogether. I know for sure I'm not going to make it to next year so maybe I should look into that.
Oh how I hate all this early adulthood drama. I wish I could just see the light for once and for all so I wouldn't feel like I'm wasting valuable time.