Change for the better: Part 1 - Interlude

Hey all! A while back I was contacted by a representative of Special K and was asked to participate in quite an exciting project: I would have to challenge myself to reach a certain goal in 3 months time and document all of my inner musings for you, twice a week. This goal could have been anything: Pick up a new language, dance the cha-cha-cha, learn how to cook, run a marathon, you name it. 

Remember that tv show on MTV called Made? Kind of like that, but unscripted, and less commercial breaks. I really liked that show, actually. I’m such a sucker for melodramatic television.

So you might wonder, why on earth is Special K sponsoring this? Well, after 30 years of using the same recipe, Kellogg’s have changed it for the better. The flakes now contain 3 instead of 2 grains, making it whole grain and thus better for you! 

But the change that is really inspiring is the fact they've stepped away from the Drop a Dress Size in 2 Weeks concept and adapted a far healthier approach: Encouraging every woman, whatever their size, to be the best version of themselves and feel absolutely super awesome while doing so! Improvement? I think so! 

And even though I’ve always wanted to ballroom dance like a pro, could use some exercise (oh god yes desperately) I chose something that’s been bugging me for years now: My mega-arch enemy, Fear of Failure.

I’ve mentioned my ridiculously irrational fear on the blog a few times already, briefly. But here’s the deal:

Ever since I was a kid, I loved to draw, paint, craft, the whole nine yards. I made my stuffed animals furniture out of cardboard boxes, I folded and decorated paper flowers like a boss, I even drew pictures of Pokémon and then sold them for whatever kids had on them to make an extra buck (or another Bellsprout Pokécard, whatever).
Later on, the focus shifted to digital design and I could spend hours on end creating fabulous little websites for my Sims 2 clothes. (Hands up if you remember Ikkerina’s Pages!)

After graduation and a gap year, I decided to follow my heart and pursue graphic design in college, which turned out to be a huge eye-opener. In high school, I never had to try hard for good grades. But then I arrived in that class, where most of the kids had gone to art school prior to enrolling. I hadn’t, and before I fully realised what I had gotten myself into, I was at the bottom of the class struggling to get by.
I f r e a k e d t h e f u c k o u t .

I wasn’t used to the criticism and instead of taking it to heart to improve my work, I took it personally and got hurt. My brain had never linked academic achievements to hard work so I slacked, I got scared to show my work in progress, would hardly show up to class anymore, get into discussions with my professors and what I eventually brought to the table was usually poo.
Mostly, I felt paralysed. I was completely unable to face these challenges as I was convinced I would fail miserably. After six months of agonising stress, I had fallen so far behind on the rest of the class, I decided to drop out.

The whole experience left me disappointed, in the professors that failed me but mostly in myself because I took the easy way out. But as I mentioned in Saturday's post, I'll be 23 soon and frankly, I'm done being afraid (click link for another fabulous song by the lovely Lana Del Rey).

So I hereby pledge that I will do everything within my power to overcome my fear of failure and become the person that I've wanted to be for my entire adult life: Creative, and free.

Please do share your personal stories about your hopes, dreams, fears whatever! I've found that writing about it can be such a catalyst, and guys if this was real life I would totally rally for a group hug so I'd say HUDDLE UP to your partner/cat/dog/parrot/pillow/whatever and when things turn sour, just repeat to yourself: WHAT WOULD TIM GUNN DO?

Tim Gunn would make it work. So can you.

DISCLAIMER: Unfortunately I am in no way affiliated with Tim Gunn, and neither is Special K, as far as I know.