Change for the better: Part 3

I am a terrible, terrible blogger, doing two of these posts in a row. Sorry to those who really don't care about my drawings and the inner turmoil it causes for me, but I did draw a picture of my Mom's cat Enya in a matryoshka costume? So, are we good now? 

I don't know what to think of this drawing actually, I feel like the different elements don't add up, but I did it and right now that's what's important. If it wouldn't have been for this challenge this drawing probably wouldn't have seen the light of day, but perhaps I'm just being too harsh on myself? I mean, I see really bad illustrative work on t-shirts all the time and people seem to buy that stuff, so... 

On a positive note: I do like that I managed to capture Enya's essence, and the flowers turned out pretty. 

This drawing up there may not be my best ever work (I consider that boat I drew back when I was in school my masterpiece), but hey I'm not going to learn from doing nothing, right? Babysteps is where it's at! I even took a micro mini step and finally finished a teeny tiny project that's been in my closet for far too long. 

If you're a long time reader, you might remember this: 

So I bought that dress because it looked like this other, sold out dress that I really wanted to have, but those flowers didn't really do it for me. I wore it two, maybe three times until it vanished to the back of my wardrobe. About a year and a half later I think, I decided to cut off the flowers. Halfway through, I noticed the big gaping holes the thread had made in the fabric. I smacked myself in the head, thinking I had ruined it and the dress was banished once again. 

But recently I was out running some errands and I needed a basic sewing kit. I thought of this dress and got the kit that included a seam ripper, which brings me back to one of last post's lessons: Get properly equipped. Seriously. 

 If you look really closely you can still see where the flowers were sewn on on the left side

What the scissors did in, oh I don't remember, about 40 minutes, the seam ripper did in 10. When I took the dress out of the laundry, there were no signs left of the thread ever being there. Yay! It's a small victory, but a victory none the less. 

I'm pretty sure slowly gaining confidence is the way to get out of this vicious circle. Just getting things done and staying busy gives you such a rewarding feeling, just make sure those things are relevant to your goals! And if I fail, well that's just another opportunity to learn, right? 

Until next time!

See the rest of this series? Click here! 

Change for the better: Part 2

Hello again! Today I’m back with some progress on my pledge to overcome my fear of failure. Missed part one? Here it is for ya.

So in the past two weeks, I’ve been doing lots of reading, thinking and soul searching, but not a lot of drawing, painting and designing. As per usual. But my second visit to the psychologist has definitely put a few things in perspective. So here’s what I’ve learned so far:

When inspiration strikes, a little voice in my head tells me I have to clean up the EVERYTHING before getting started. I’m not exactly a tidy person, as in, without regular rounds of inspection, a chair will turn into a pile of laundry, shoes are everywhere, and dirty dishes... Oh please let’s not talk about dirty dishes!

A tidy space is a clear mind, but in my years of being a chronic procrastinator, I have used household chores as an excuse to delay whatever it is I should be doing. Everyone knows that feeling right, you should be working on an essay for school, get administrative papers in order or reply to an e-mail and you’re just sitting around browsing Pinterest or watching another episode of Modern Family (guilty!). The key to being a procrastinator with a clear conscience is to choose the lesser of two evils. You see, I may not have drawn that excellent picture of my cat disguised as a lamp, but I did do the laundry and mop the floor. Not bad, right?

For my illustrations, an essential piece in my workplace would be a printer and scanner. I have always refrained from buying a printer because it’s an ongoing expense, having to buy cartridges every few months or so. So whenever I had an idea in mind and needed reference to draw, I would have to schedule my creative moments around my access to a printer. I’m pretty sure this refusal to buy a flippin’ printer is another excuse to procrastinate, so I finally caved in and decided on this baby:

 In my head I thought I was going to have to dig into my savings as for some reason I thought a printer would cost me about €200, but in fact the scanner combos are not even €100! WHAT! This baby is €65 and I think we’ll get along just fine. No more using my camera to get my drawings on the computer either.

(The flower on the right is something I'll be painting over some day, no worries)

Instead of always focussing on what I’m not good at, my psychologist told me I should think about all the things I can do. Yet for me, there’s a large gap between cognitively understanding something and really believing it. So here’s a list of things I’m good at, but not particularly care about: 

 - I’m a good public speaker. My presentations in class always got me good grades and I whipped up a speech on the spot at an event for which I had designed a t-shirt. There were cameras and federal politicians and I was all “wait I have to talk into, like, a microphone????” But apparently I made it work. I completely forgot about that day until now. 

 - I’ve got the gift of one-liners (high five if you sung and ‘you’ve got the curse of curves’ in your head!). Not just one-liners though, language has always been a strong suit for me. Writing has always come naturally to me, whether it’s fiction, a formal letter, applying for a job, whatever! I picked up English just by watching The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and the few words of Spanish that I know I can almost pronounce like a native speaker. 

 - I’m a quick learner and a hard worker, rendering me an awesome employee. I'm also an idealist, which could be considered a good as well as a bad thing but on the bright side: I always try to treat others the way I'd like to be treated: With respect and kindness. (If I don't get those things however, I will probably give you the death glare.)

So I'm going to try and crank up my confidence a little, stop focussing on what I'm not good at (yet!), but think about my skills, or dare I say, talents, instead! 

Last but not least, I'm going to try to let go of my own expectations, kick off my shoes, make some tea and let the inspiration flow.
When I get my printer.
After I've mopped the floor.

If you guys have any suggestions to add to this incredibly short playlist, let me know!

♬

Survivor - Eye of the Tiger
Queen - I Want to Break Free

Gloria Gaynor - I Will Survive

If anyone needs me, I'll be rocking out, dancing with Lala in my jammies! See you all later!

Monday Evenings

Not a cell in my brain has ever thought I would enjoy a Monday Evening. I've had quite the weekend, kicking off Thursday evening, with a sudden fever. I crawled into bed straight after work hoping the fever would break by morning because Friday was going to be a big day: I had my frikkin' driver's test!

Snotty nose and silly mistakes aside, I aced dat shiz! Tomorrow I'm heading to the photo booth (let's cross our fingers for a good hair day!) for some mug shots and Wednesday morning I hope to prance out of City Hall waving my Proper Drivers License around!

Friday night I went out to see Dance Gavin Dance but the true highlight of the evening turned out to be Closure In Moscow, and duuuude they were great. I'm totally crushing on their lead singer because the man is basically FABULOUS.

Green hair, oddly metallic outfit, make up, A CROWN!! Add to that an Australian accent and a ton of stage presence and BOOM I'm sold. I'm just gonna go and study their lyrics so that next time I see them I'll be able to sing along like a batcrap crazy person.

This is a GIF I made because I liked the way the curtains were billowing up in the wind. I really hope we're finally heading into Spring now, but I'm sure you've read about the shitty weather in basically the entire European continent on other blogs too.

In other news, I have been brainstorming on how to put this space on the web of mine to a better use. I'm not sure what I'd like this blog to be, I'd like the content to be a bit more substantial than random posts with pictures of curtains and sassy Australian vocalists, you know? Your input, because obviously I want you to READ THIS SHIZ, would be greatly appreciated!

So I guess I shall end with this question to you, my readers:
What would you like to see on this blog?
Should I make better use of the plethora of social media available?
Should I dye my hair green and start a band?
WHAT IS THE MEANING OF LIFE Y'ALL?

Well, that escalated quickly /Ron Burgundy voice

Notoriety and Rivieras

So we've been having a cold wave (yikes!) here lately, we had some snow which soon turned into a filthy layer of muddy ice, followed by lots and lots of cold. I'm surprised by how well I'm managing, wearing only two pairs of socks in ankle boots and I haven't lost any limbs to frost bite just yet. Pretty neat!
In dire need of inspiration of how to dress accordingly and still look nice, I thought I'd turn to Lookbook and see how our Eastern- and Northern European friends do it. I understand that California, Miami and heck the southern hemisphere are all nice and toasty this time of year but I can assure you, Scandinavia, Poland/Romania/Russia etc are not. THEN WHY ARE THEY FROLICKING AROUND IN BARE LEGS OR SHORT SHORTS?
Sorry, major pet peeve. I get it, you got a new dress from Romwe or whatever Asian store is handing out free stuff and you have to show it off, but since they live in deep freeze areas, I get kind of curious what these people really wear on a day to day basis, don't you?

So here's what I did find on the world wide webz:

1 ❄ 2 ❄ 3

4 ❄ 5 ❄ 6 ❄ 7

The last three outfits obviously need a coat but hey, it's better than having to imagine *what the outfit would look like with tights or pants, sensible snow-proof shoes, a scarf and perhaps a hat to keep my ears warm*. Also, I went a little nuts with the vintage frames and spent all afternoon flipping through sites with vintage photos and cutting and blending and and and... Inspired by this post on Pugly Pixel. That site is awesome if you're in a design rut!

As I stated before, I have lots of purchases to show off (people will start to think I ram raided Zara) and a whole bunch of pretty lil' outfits I have to catch on camera so I'm sort of expecting some proper bloggin' soon. I can't wait to move out of the house into my own crib (please let it not be the next best thing after a cardboard box), just a few more months and I'll be able to shoot pictures while my pizza is in the oven. Living small might not be such an awful thing after all!

I hope you've enjoyed this post because dammit I put way too much effort in this collage thingy hahaha!

Have a nice weekend dudes!

Working hard

Well hello, please, step into my office! I figured I'd show you guys what I'm working on, I'd say because I've been so absent from the blog, but in fact I haven't! I've posted at least once every two weeks for a while now, and in my book that's a pretty good job haha. 

As I've said before, I'm working on a small webshop for my handmade jewelry! First pic is where I work, second is what I've worked on today (it's a really pretty white/gold bracelet with amazonite stones, so luscious!) and third, what finished products I currently have in stock. Consider this a little sneak peek, as I've delayed the opening for a few weeks. Why, you ask? 

Well, I found a job! Wait, frankly, the job found me, haha. A few weeks ago one of my former bosses at the eye clinic I used to work at contacted me asking if I was interested in coming back! I was hesitant at first, because of my application for my dream job, but alas I haven't heard anything back so I took my chances and ran with it! So, I'm back at that familiar old desk, I've already seen a familiar face or two amongst the patients and I'm loving it! It feels like I never left at all! 

So that's one new year's resolution to tick off! And to top this off, I passed the theoretical driver's test so I now have a learner's permit. Back in December I told myself I wanted to pass the exam by the end of January and since I would start working Feb. 1, I figured I had to stay true to my vow so my mom drove me to the exam center Jan. 31 and I passed with a whopping 47/50. It was dead easy! 

Currently I'm looking for a second hand car to cruise around in, and I'm occasionally checking websites for apartments for rent, too. I'm totally excited for the future and I haven't felt like this in such a long time. Things are finally coming together for me and it feels guud. Now I just need a prince-like character on a white horse (or preferably, carrying a white cat because I LOVE CATS GUYS) to swoop me off my feet and life would be one million percent awesome. 

Lastly, I want to thank you guys, my lovely readers! Without you guys, blogging would hardly be any fun at all! Kate Louise sent out this Versatile Blogger Award to a bunch of bloggers, including me! Woo! 

Now I'm supposed to give 7 facts about myself (and share the award to 15 other bloggers but I have a lot of playing with glue waiting for me so I'm going to skip that, sorry for doing a half-ass job on this!) 

1. One of my biggest childhood traumas is most definitely P.E. class. I specifically hated things that involve hanging/standing upside down and I think all in all I handed in about a 30 sick notes. The rest of the classes I just stood around doing nothing.
2. The only exam I ever failed was year 9 Chemistry, at 34%. Mainly because the computer I ordered arrived the day before the exam haha. I do suck at chemistry though.
3. I have really small toes. 
4. As a kid I would sometimes sell drawings of Pikachu and Snorlax that I'd make, for about €0,50. Maybe I was destined to become an entrepreneur. 
5. Some of my annoying habits include biting my lip, scratching the skin next to my nails and checking up on my nose piercing (it's nasty because it looks like I'm picking my nose haha).
6. I am deeply afraid of spiders, confined spaces and death (thank you Six Feet Under).
7. My favourite game on the Wii is Mario Kart because it's the same concept as Crash Team Racer but with better graphics. I also really like the tennis game.

So there you go! Thanks again Kate Louise, and to all my precious readers, see you next post! 

48 Roses

Hey guys! Can you guess what I've been doing with these beautiful semi-precious stones? Let me show you:

That's right! Making plain old necklaces! (If you were expecting some kind of bejeweled flying space pig, I'm sorry) I'm still perfecting my ways but I'm so excited about it that I just couldn't wait to show you.

Pretty, right? I know for a fact that if I saw this in store, I would snap it up right away! That's actually the reason why I made it, because I can't find anything similar in the shops (either really big rocks, too much glitter in the rocks, plastic rocks etc).

Now I'd like to ask the same question I asked you guys about the bracelet I made a few weeks ago: Would you buy this if these were offered online for about €6? (Shipping not included, but that wouldn't be too much I suppose, as I can ship these in padded envelopes.)

By the way, I've tested the bracelet I made by keeping it on my wrists from New Year's Eve to the 3rd of January, including one hell of a partaaay and 4 long showers, and it has held up really well!

If you'll excuse me now, I'm off to play with glue!
Until next post!

DIY post - Two weeks in Hawaii

Hey guys! I hope everyone's had a good Christmas with lots of food and presents and funnnn! My Christmas was okay, I'm not really big on the holiday because we're just not really that close as a family so being together somehow always feels a little make believe to me.
Especially because there are a few loud eaters in the bunch. Like you wouldn't believe.

Anyway. A while back I felt like keeping busy making jewelry so I ordered some supplies on ebay and today the last bit arrived so I got right to it (which is so unlike me because I mentally prepare for everything haha) and made a beaded bracelet! I mostly followed this tutorial, but did my own thing here and there (mainly because the hole in the beads wasn't big enough to have the thread pass through twice).

Supplies! I used 1 meter of metallic embroidery thread, 50 cm of 1mm brown waxed cotton cord and a bunch of 2mm howlite turquoise beads.

Halfway through the process. I taped the whole thing down to a world atlas, which just so happens to be my favourite work top but a regular table will do too haha. I just find it helpful to tape it down because the whole thing's really fiddly and the less shit I have to fiddle with, the better.

And voila! The seemingly invisible end (well almost) product hanging in my cherry blossom tree light which I got for Christmas!
It was already dark so I had to find a creative way to photograph this in artificial light so I figured I would just put it up there rather than wait until tomorrow because I got too excited haha.

The bracelet's still a bit messy and I don't know how I'm going to finish the end (probably a bead to fit through the loop hole) but I'm quite happy with it! I already ordered some more beads and I have plenty of thread (gold and silver) and cord (all colours of the frikkin rainbow) left so I'll definitely be doing more.

I''m sort of thinking about selling these but considering the price of the supplies (semi-precious beads) and the time and effort put into them (SHIT'S FIDDLY GUYS), I don't think I could go lower than €8 ($10,50 or £6,70), and I'm not sure if that's an ok price for a tiny little (but very pretty!) lightweight bracelet like this one. (Click here for size reference.)

For the time being this is just a little brain child of mine (brain child with a name, but I don't want to jinx it!!!), and I'm going to test this prototype bracelet to see how much wear it can take, but I would appreciate some feedback on the price!

Adios guys, and HAPPY FUCKIN' NEW YEAR if I don't get to post any sooner!

Bobby Elvis

Since I'm feeling ever so uninspired due to chilly weather, I thought I'd switch it up a bit and show you what I'd rather be wearing:

If only it wasn't like, December, right? If the top half (oddly printed shirt with max cleavage + denim vest + loads of dangly necklaces) looks somewhat familiar to you and you happen to watch Sons of Anarchy, let me clarify:

Bobby Elvis (aka Robert Munson) in Sons of Anarchy (portrayed by Mark Boone Jr.)

Bat shit crazy style inspiration? Perhaps. Mega awesome outfit? Fuck yeah!

I was initially going to do a Polyvore collage but then I couldn't find the right shirt nor the right denim vest so I figured I would quickly draw the outfit.
All in all I think it took me about 7 hours. Haha. I must say, it's been a while since I've properly drawn (/painted/edited in Photoshop) something and I quite enjoyed it! The shoes were a total bitch though (so much detail in such little space!) but it totally came together, yay me!

Instantly added to my Spring/Summer wishlist: A denim vest and oddly printed silk/chiffon shirts, to wear with my coated cropped skinnies (which are extraordinarily uncomfortable, thank you AllSaints) and two toned brogues! I wish it was May already, for the Spring time, and so I could skip this awkward "I need a job BUT WHAT SHALL I DO?" phase I'm in right now. I have two more days of chillin' and then I have to get off that lazy ass of mine and do some job hunting. For reals.

Have a nice weekend guys!

Sep. 8: Ask me anything!

MUSIC: CIRCA SURVIVE 

MOOD: LAZY

Some of you might have noticed that I don't always reply to questions asked in a comment. Well that's basically because I never know where to reply, some people leave anonymous comments, others only have a blogger profile and no blog, etc. I'm not a stuck up bitch that feels too good to reply to questions, trust me, haha.

It may come as a surprise, but I'm not too involved in this whole blogging world. I barely follow blogs myself, and the ones I really like are in my blog roll.

So if anyone out there has a question to ask me, whether it's about my shoe size or how many cousins I have, ask away! I'll be happy to reply in a blog post later on.

And for visual entertainment, I'll post these little drawings I have made over the past few... months?

My Hollow Girls, this is kinda old (dates from that Girls in Glasses t-shirt fad god I really hated that.)

Epic duck has probably been on here before. (Obviously crooked beak is not so obvious irl.)

An owl that turned out looking a lot like the O RLY owl. 

That's it for today. I'll just continue being lazy now. Have a good one y'guys!

May 21: This desert has got its ghosts.

MUSIC: VANNA

MOOD: EXCITED

Blackstarfest tomorrow, super yay! I just have to remind myself to print the goddamn e-tickets. I don't want to arrive after a 3-hour bus/train/bus/walk travel only to find out I forgot the tickets. Hah.

Anyway I thought I'd share two of my latest drawings, a friend wanted to see them so I quickly snapped some photos, guess I might as well show them here, too.

Yay!

May 4: the more you get the less you are

MUSIC: CIRCA SURVIVE

MOOD: MELANCHOLIC

I've been pretty ill lately (sinusitis) so I've spent the past two days in bed, sleeping it off. Hopefully the meds will kick in soon, because I have a party to attend tomorrow, haha. Yay!

Other than that, we saw the first 40 minutes or so of The Road during literature class today. The cellar scene must have been one of the most disturbing things I've seen in my entire life. (I've seen blue waffle, 2 girls 1 cup and jar man.)

ANYWAY, happy things now.

I drew a dandelion. Yay. :D

Edit: Version two. I think I still prefer the first one. 

But I like the grainy effect on the photograph I used for the background.

May 1: Say hello to Vicky the college drop out.

MUSIC: GLASSJAW

MOOD: CHILL

It's pretty much official, I have dropped out of graphic design. Whether I'll go back in September for another round of Year 1, I don't know yet. If (and only if) I build a good portfolio, I don't need a silly paper saying I'm good at what I do.
Though I always would have liked a proper degree, in whatever. Hmm. Decisions to make!

Anyway.

Last weekend I went to Groezrock and lots of crazy things happened (involving a tent and really cold temperatures) but what happens at Groez, stays at Groez.
Anyway I saw Glassjaw (fucking epic I tell you!), another round of The Ghost of a Thousand and asked Dance Gavin Dance for a photo.

I'm very aware of the fact I look like shit in the photo (my friend looked way better but idk if she wants to be on here so heartsy it is haha) but hey, we drank, we went to bed at 6 AM and got up again 3 hours later, then drank again. There's an excuse. 

So yesterday I attended drawing class (completely voluntarily!), basically because we went to the zoo again. I hung out at the aquarium this time, mainly in front of a tank with lots of starfish. Hearing kids scream "OMG PATRICK!!" at the starfish all of the time, I got a marvelous idea.

I'm not quite satisfied with Bob's appearance yet, so I might just draw another sponge to replace the current one. 

While standing in front of that fish tank with my sketchbook, a lot of kids were too curious not to check what I was doing. Lots of gasps and 'omg' and what not, kids are so easily impressed. It was rather cute!

So, what are the prospects right now? Well I still have a paper to write for Contemporary Arts and exams are coming up in June! I'm bailing out yes, but I'm still doing Philosophy, Literature and Art History exams, just to prove my teachers I can at least do something right, haha.