Dad.

This is probably the most difficult and disheartening post I'll ever write, so I'll just get right to it. Ten days ago today, my dad passed away. He was one month away from turning 51.

My dad and I always had a weird relationship. I used to be a daddy's girl but then puberty hit me hard and I became much more distant, alas. Ever since I started showing interest in photography, his hobby turned passion, we reconnected, though I will never forgive myself for not telling him how much I love him, and not spending enough time as father and daughter.

Because words can't really describe how confused and sad I feel, I'm just gonna go and post a bunch of his pictures.

My dad doing what he loves: Taking pictures of things. 

Enya, our cat, looking gorgeous and unimpressed, as always

Fonzie, our previous kitty. I like to believe he is now reunited with my dad. They were best buds. 

If there's one thing I would like you all to take away from this post, it would be to NEVER put off reconnecting with a family member or a friend because you have 'time'.

And to my dad: I never ever stopped loving you, I just lost the ability to show it.

Suitcase

I'm totes late with this but since this is my first post of 2013: Happy New Year! I hope you all enjoyed the holiday season and that NYE was the cherry on the cake. My friends and I kept things low key this year, and played Halo 4 most of the night, which was actually a whole lot of fun. Still prefer Call of Duty though.

 I've been thinking about this year's resolutions and how much they'll resemble last's, so here goes!

General achievements and practicalities:
❑ Exchange my learner's permit for a full on driver's license
❑ Move out of the parents' nest
❑ Get a business license and obviously start a business (or two)
❑ Improve creative skills, thus illustrating, designing, embroidering, whatever!
❑ Less frivolous spending
❑ Better bloggin'
❑ Do a massive Spring clean

Health:
❑ Eat better
❑ Keep on exercising
❑ Crank up the energy level without the sly help of caffeine
❑ Get my weight back down to 49 kilos

For the peace of mind:
❑ Tell the people I love that I love them more often
❑ Join my mom in yoga class
❑ Purge possessions and live with less of everything

I elaborated compared to last year's rather modest list, mostly because I found checking back to this list totally helped me staying focused on my goals.

I contemplated leaving out my weight goal, because weight can be such a sensitive topic, but this is my personal blog and thus within limits I can write about whatever I want here, right? Truth is, I'm a tiny person with a disproportionately chubby tummy. By no means am I planning to go totally berserk here, and I'm not trying to send a wrong "BURN ALL THE FATS" message here but I try to live by these words:

“Complaining is silly. Either act or forget.”

This is a quote by Stefan Sagmeister, a well-known graphic designer. I attended a seminar back when I was in college, and his lecture was pretty much all that stuck from those two days. Probably because of his amusing accent (he's from Austria), but that's not the point.
Point is, I'm not feeling all too good in my skin so I'm acting, now. I know I probably sound immensely crazy to you guys but trust me when I say I do a really fine ass job at hiding my jelly belly! And really, I just want to wear high waisted skirts and belts and what not without having to feel like a tent after one soda, haha.

As for a small update on my life, I lived a short but intense romance with a friend of a friend, future looked bright until he told me via facebook chat whilst I was working late that he wanted to get back with his ex girlfriend.
I bawled like a baby, had my brother pick me up and said to myself: "Whatever, he wasn't a cat person anyway".

I love my furry friends more than life itself.

This is Enya's Sunday morning "Let's go to Paris, darling" face. 

Life's been stressful these past few weeks. My dad is ill and currently in treatment, my mom's a wreck and work weeks feel like one seemingly endless day. I come in when it's still dark, I leave when it's already dark, and the next morning I'm back and I feel like I've only stepped out for an hour. My love for my family and friends, my bright plans for the future and my passion for aesthetics are the things that keep me going right now.

In the meantime I'll just keep looking at pretty interior design pictures on pinterest, check back Zara Home and Urban Outfitters' home ware section way too frequently and work, work, work.
I wish I could do more proper outfit photos, I just can't seem to find the time to squeeze in some shots. It sucks, because I do miss blogging. Hopefully soon I'll get my shit together, I have so much stuff to do for the next few weekends so I'll probably not get around to shoot pictures until like, idk, March, haha.

Anyways, I'm ranting. I hope you're all enjoying your Sunday afternoon!

Love,

GPOYC: Gratuitous Picture of Your Cat...

... And Why I'm Such a Shitty Blogger! 

First of all, let me start my apology with a picture of my precious cat, Henry. (Yeah, the name 'Cat' didn't cut it anymore because more and more cats started showing up in your back yard. Note to self: Don't leave the cat food outside.)

He's a crazy little dude, this one.

Now for the whole blogging thing. I know I don't have to make excuses or explain myself for my absence, but I feel like sharing today, so I'm just going to elaborate on why I haven't been feeling very motivated.

As you all probably know by now, I'm a lazy ol' fuck. That's reason numbero uno.

Numbero dos, is the fact that the real world and blog world are slowly colliding. I obviously knew throwing all this stuff online and somehow being slightly successful at it would have some sort of impact on my anonymity. Being recognized is kind of weird. So is having friends going "So, I found your blog!" because taking a shit ton of pictures of yourself and your clothes isn't the kind of activity people would think I enjoy. (More like setting things on fire.)

Numbero tres, my beloved little Henry has gone missing last week. My mom and I have located him and we're going to try and get him back from this crazy old cat lady. Granted, Henry wasn't officially our cat, but we love him like he's ours so the idea of him being in this smelly dump with 20 other cats tears my heart out.

Numbero quatro. I've quit my job. I'd been talking about this for months as shit started creeping up the fan in May, and a few weeks ago I just decided it was time to move on. I would get up in the morning feeling good, then arrive at work and be a miserable wreck. Not just because of the palpable tension in the air due to past drama, also because I just feel like I can do more than this. Sure I've learned a lot from this job, probably more valuable information than from my job as a secretary as an eye clinic (because who needs to know how cataract surgery works anyway?), but I think I've taken all I could possibly get out of it. There's no way to get higher up and even if there was, I'm unsure if I want to stay in retail for another 5-or-so years.
I am going to miss it though, shits and giggles and dancing with the co-workers, some of the customers even, and generally being around pretty clothes all day, haha.
Just a month and a half to go, and then I'll be free once again, huzzah. Until then, my hours have been cut back a little so I'll just enjoy myself watching The Big Bang Theory, In Treatment, Sons of Anarchy, Criminal Minds and Dexter. Jesus I swear I'm not as lame as it may come across, haha. I do have a social life I swear!!!!

Dec. 20: We're all lost and begging to be found

MUSIC: ISLES & GLACIERS 

MOOD: FUZZY

Two blog posts in two days, pretty awesome right? Today I'm back with an outfit post for which I really worked my Photoshop magic!

                                                                Isles and Glaciers - Hills Like White Elephants

Maxi Cardigan and Jeans from AllSaints

Tanktop and ring from H&M

Boots from New Look

Okay so I felt kinda bad for always using the same old backdrop (i.e. my bed) but honestly, I'm just way too fucking lazy to take my camera and my tripod on my bike to the local park. Also, riding the bike in this cardigan would be seriously difficult. Walking these boots in the snow would be mortal. 

Anyway I'm just enjoying the full length of my cardigan as long as I can, because I'll probably take it to be tailored (read: shortened haha) sometime this week. I still don't quite know where to go, though I think there was a little shop in the street my school was, might just have to go there again (oh the memories!), and pick up a sandwich from that insanely guud sandwich bar while I'm there. Haha. 

Oh and, if you read the post below, you might notice I found a necklace for my semi-precious stone (which I think isn't even semi-precious haha but whatever) pendant! It's plain silver and not antique silver, but I love the combination with my bird necklace.

Other than that, I'm already in PJs after running around in the snow, chasing these two little cuties! 

Jonny

Roberto

Just a few months back they ran away like scary motherfuckers as soon as we opened the door to our backyard but now they actually come running towards me and my mom! (The difference food makes, haha.) We're profoundly in love with these little furballs, I just hope our neighbours (read: the rightful owners of these bunbuns) won't move away cause seriously, I'll cry my eyes out. The joy they bring, you can't imagine. 

Also I recently downloaded Florence + The Machine's album because Dog Days Are Over keeps playing in the store. I quite like it, which is unique because I usually hate female vocals with a passion! 

And that's pretty much all I had to say I believe. Have a great week you guys! 

Nov. 30: Forced to fight

MUSIC: GLASSJAW 

MOOD: YAYZ

Yay! Yesterday I was at my mate's house and all of a sudden the whole town was covered in a little layer of snow! These first days of winter, I love it! Hot coco, cuddling up in scarves, skating instead of walking (okay that actually scares the shit out of me but it still has its charm)... As soon as the white snow turns into a brownish, muddy mixture I yet again long for Spring though.

Last week was payday, so I kinda splurged!

Everything AllSaints

Sedna Dress in Amethyst Spray, Wyatt Ashby in Indigo, Stallion Yahvi Top

Slightly different from my wishlist (very very slightly haha) but apparently the Stone Spray colour (which is way closer to a whiteish grey in real life) washes me out completely. Awesome! Okay I did sort of look like a smurf (read: it brought out the blue in my skintone) and we all know I have the length...

And to stay in the mood of this frightful weather, I dug up these old pics that I took somewhere in January (or December even?), did some cropping and some editing and voila! Good enough to last until I get the chance to until I stop being too lazy to do some new snowscapes!

Have an awesome week you guys, and to those who've been covered in snow as well lately: Enjoy some super fun winter times! (And try not to fall flat on your ass too much!)

Jul. 7: Live it, love it, lust it.

MUSIC: EMAROSA 

MOOD: GUUD

Vacation is awesome. Here some pictures to sum up how it has been so far:

Spotting birds when sitting on a bench with two friends, a balloon and a bottle of good ol' sangria.

Watching Family Guy on my laptop with the window open and the fan blowing.

And cooking! Whenever everyone's out of the house, I like to take over the kitchen and release my inner hausfrau, haha. These are noodles, Thai veggies, sweet-and-sour sauce and bits of Mexican flavoured pork. (EDIT: HAHA I just realised this seems like "pork that tastes like Mexicans", I'm so sorry, I meant to say they used Mexican spices for this) I actually ate this three times in two days because I made way too much. I should throw dinner parties.

All this whilst listening to that magnificent self-titled album by Emarosa. Currently my favourite track:

Emarosa - Live It. Love It. Lust It.

I've been roaming the shops, since sales started the first this month, but I'm kind of having trouble finding things I like. The only store that seems to cater my needs at the moment is New Look, but even there I try on a dozen of things and end up buying nothing but a hair band. But a cute one!

The necklace is new as well, I don't mean to jump on the owl-hyping bandwagon but dammit you guys, those hipsters keep stealing my interests! If they ever touch anchors, hummingbirds or swans I will shmack them one by one. The bralette is from H&M (as well as the necklace) and was in sale for €3. I had been eyeing it for a while, to wear under low cut tops, so I was quite pleased to find it in sale.

Other than that, I have nothing more to say than OMFG YOU GUYS VACAY IS AWESOME.
Enjoy it <3

Jun. 16: Privilege and wit made me misfortune's child.

MUSIC: EVERY TIME I DIE

MOOD: OK

I'm very much looking forward to Every Time I Die's concert, September 26. I'm secretly hoping they'll play around midnight because the 27th is my birthday, but alas, Terror is headlining so I think I will be hanging at the merch stands the minute I'm turning the big 20 haha.

Every Time I Die - Wanderlust

Oh and, VACAY HAS STARTED! Yesterday was Philosophy exam and according to my calculations, I should have 30%. Oops. This is the biggest disaster since the Year 9 Chemistry exam. So I might have to retake the exam in August. Bummer.

In the meantime, I'll have plenty of shit to do.

• Tidy my room
• Buy (and transform with some paint if necessary) a little cupboard to put my tv on
• Clean out wardrobe 
• Adjust clothes that are too big for me
• Draw and paint
• Hang out with friends
• DIY a skirt or a dress
• Read a bunch of books
• Make new layout for blog (sorry to those who like this one haha)
• Make shitload of pictures!

Also I found this cute little necklace in one of my drawers.

I need a new chain for this pendant because when I put it on it reaches down to my bellybutton. 

A bit too much if you ask me. 

May 25: Like Wolves.

MUSIC: DEAD AND DIVINE

MOOD: BORED

I'm bored out of my skull. Really, I seem to just sit around till the day is over haha. I can't seem to come up with any fun activities that don't cost any money. Yes, I'm pretty much broke haha. So I blog. This is going to be a completely irrelevant post to those looking for pictures of shoes or dresses, so sorry in advance!

I had quite an awesome weekend. Friday night I went to sit by the river with a few friends and some booze. Unfortunately it didn't occur to me that I still had some packing to do for Blackstarfest the next day so I hung out a wee bit too long.

Shooting in raw is such an epiphany - the boats and buildings are almost completely black in the original shot. I don't know how I went 3 months without raw. After another 5 months of shooting in jpeg + raw, I'm finally brave enough to leave jpeg for what it is. Haha.

Anyway, after a good 6-hour sleep, I had to get up again to get ready for Blackstarfest. Me and my new random Portuguese buddy Ricardo started our adventure at respectively 8:30 and 7:00. The poor guy came all the way from Namur haha. 

We saw a shitload of bands, emphasis on shit, with names like LoveHateHero and I Am Ghost. The singer of I Am Ghost actually noticed us laughing at him, haha. Or, I like to believe he was pointing at us when he said "HEEEY I don't ask for much but you have to dance!" 

Yeah. Campus and No Turning Back however, were pretty good! I usually like post-hardcore more than hardcore, but I'm very openminded. Haha. I planned on making lots of pretty pictures, but the music was so goddamn loud I couldn't approach the stage. Though when Ricardo wanted to get in the pit during No Turning Back and I couldn't see squat because of the really big guys standing in front of me, I thought I'd give it a shot anyway. 

Out of the 100+ shots, this is the only one that turned out okay haha. Oh well I had fun. Camera privileges are quite nice. No moshers, no pushing, no sweaty guys standing too close. I should do this more often. 

After the show we went outside to catch some fresh air, and the bass player from LoveHateHero, who was in the pit with Ricardo, came to beg us for cigarettes. I think he was as high as a kite because when we said we didn't smoke, he kind of just wandered off saying "what's wrong with kids these days" hahaha. 

Then we went to stalk the vocalist from No Turning Back (as seen in pic above) because my mate wanted a picture haha. We succeeded. He's quite a nice guy.

The next morning we realized our tent wasn't water proof so it kind of rained inside haha. 

Life has been so golden lately. While my old class mates have undergone evaluations, and I think pretty much all of them have passed, I sleep in, hang out with my friends and go to festivals. I'm happy.

Though my ex could stop stalking me, seriously.

Apr 21: Random.

MUSIC: GLASSJAW

MOOD: EXCITED

Two more days until Groezrock, a punk/hardcore festival. I'm only really going for Glassjaw, so let's just hope they'll get through the stupid volcano ash.

Also, I've come to terms with the fact I'm probably going to fail this year. I slacked too much, didn't meet deadlines, skipped lessons etc etc etc. Oh well. No drama.

And, random images ftw!

Alcohol induces deep, philosophical conversations about life and reality. 

Obviously.

Or, semi-artistic shots with deep, deep meanings. Life and death, you know.

That shit.

Yes, I painted a paper boat hahaha.

And last but not least, I tidied my room. A bit.

Yippee! More meaningful updates coming soon (hopefully)!

Mar. 14: Head in the clouds.

MUSIC: ISLES & GLACIERS

MOOD: SLIGHTLY HUNG OVER

I'm going to be extremely awful and advertise for my brand new flickr page.

Also, I made this picture yesterday, again whilst listening to the wonderful Isles & Glaciers EP. 

OH WELL, that's all I wanted to tell you today. 

I hope everyone had a great weekend! I know mine was pretty awesome. It involved stranding in the middle of nowhere, nocturnal discussions about Pokémon and communism, and lots and lots of Smurf nectar (aka blue vodka lemon). 

Awesomeness!